Thursday, September 17, 2009
Just found out my grandpa might be/is having another stroke. He had one around Christmas when I was a freshman in college and I spent the whole break taking care of him while he lived with us to recover. My mom said she talked to him on the phone and that he remembered today would have been my Grandma's birthday so I guess that's good and means he isn't too bad off. The doctors think it might be a series of small strokes or something? I don't really know. I am just really hating that he lives so far away and I can't visit him. I guess the plan is my mom and dad are driving right now from VA to FL where my grandpa is and if he is well enough to leave the hospital, he's coming to live with us. If he isn't well, my mom is going to stay down there with him as long as she needs to. If you're reading this, please keep him in your thoughts.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Dazed & Confused
Since accepting my current job and making the big move down to NC, I have gotten one firm job offer (at a place I had interviewed at SIX MONTHS before) and two other calls with interest in me. All three jobs were at home in Northern Virginia, and when they called it was easy to say, "No thanks, I've already accepted a different offer," but now I find myself wondering if I made the right decision.
We have no way of knowing the future, so I have always tried to do the best I can with whatever information I have on hand when it comes time to make a decision. I make the decision to take my current job and to move to NC over a weekend, and was at my house here literally two days after I was hired. So maybe it was how quickly it happened that didn't give me a chance to mull it over.
Ever since my family moved from NC to VA when I was 10, I have known that Northern Virginia is 100% absolutely not the place I want to spend the rest of my life. It's too crowded, I don't like the people, traffic impacts even the simplest plans to drive somewhere and it has never truly felt like "home." For the past four years Harrisonburg was my home, so when I started looking for jobs the location was important. I was searching basically everywhere in the state of Virginia (except the little western part that sticks out...) and other states I thought might be cool. I knew that by choosing a job, I'd either be choosing a new home, or finally accepting Northern Virginia as my home.
I realized today I have lived in Hickory for about 7 weeks, and what do I have to show for it? A house with random home improvements, a new driver's license, NC license plates, and a pair of cowboy boots. Friends my own age? No. Membership in an organization? No. Any kind of social interaction outside of Monday Trivia Night? No. And to add to my complete lack of progress here, I find out today that Athan is being considered for a job in Richmond. It's so frustrating.
I wish I could have been able to see the future and see that Athan wouldn't be having any luck getting jobs in NC, but tons of connections in VA, and I wouldn't have set about the process of really trying to ingrain myself here. What sucks even more is that I am not socially adjusted, merely governmentally and administratively committed to this new home. If I could have known all this, my parents wouldn't have just spent a thousand dollars renting a truck last weekend and bringing all my furniture down here. I could have kept my state residency in Virginia and enrolled in grad school next year, like I wanted to down here. But now there is a whole mess is front of me. If Athan gets this job, what do I do? I don't want to live six hours apart from him. Having him here made living here easy and fun. Now when I think about being here alone I just feel...well, lonely. I wanted to live in NC because we had both said we liked the state and wanted to end up here someday. Did I pick a day way too soon? Is "someday" not a real thing?
I am just feeling really conflicted. I love the lifestyle here but what's better: nearby family & friends in a congested and annoying area or a slow paced, enjoyable lifestyle with absolutely no one to share it with? I'm so nervous about this Richmond thing. I'm a pretty flexible person and it's not the actual act of moving or the location that I would be opposed to...it's the fact that moving would set me back so far in the progress I am making and literally put me back at step one. Not to mention the wasted finances on both mine and my parents' parts. I know an actual concrete job offer doesn't exist yet, but I it's worth thinking about to me because I want to know what I should do if it does happen. I feel so unprepared and unequipped to deal with this life challenge.
We have no way of knowing the future, so I have always tried to do the best I can with whatever information I have on hand when it comes time to make a decision. I make the decision to take my current job and to move to NC over a weekend, and was at my house here literally two days after I was hired. So maybe it was how quickly it happened that didn't give me a chance to mull it over.
Ever since my family moved from NC to VA when I was 10, I have known that Northern Virginia is 100% absolutely not the place I want to spend the rest of my life. It's too crowded, I don't like the people, traffic impacts even the simplest plans to drive somewhere and it has never truly felt like "home." For the past four years Harrisonburg was my home, so when I started looking for jobs the location was important. I was searching basically everywhere in the state of Virginia (except the little western part that sticks out...) and other states I thought might be cool. I knew that by choosing a job, I'd either be choosing a new home, or finally accepting Northern Virginia as my home.
I realized today I have lived in Hickory for about 7 weeks, and what do I have to show for it? A house with random home improvements, a new driver's license, NC license plates, and a pair of cowboy boots. Friends my own age? No. Membership in an organization? No. Any kind of social interaction outside of Monday Trivia Night? No. And to add to my complete lack of progress here, I find out today that Athan is being considered for a job in Richmond. It's so frustrating.
I wish I could have been able to see the future and see that Athan wouldn't be having any luck getting jobs in NC, but tons of connections in VA, and I wouldn't have set about the process of really trying to ingrain myself here. What sucks even more is that I am not socially adjusted, merely governmentally and administratively committed to this new home. If I could have known all this, my parents wouldn't have just spent a thousand dollars renting a truck last weekend and bringing all my furniture down here. I could have kept my state residency in Virginia and enrolled in grad school next year, like I wanted to down here. But now there is a whole mess is front of me. If Athan gets this job, what do I do? I don't want to live six hours apart from him. Having him here made living here easy and fun. Now when I think about being here alone I just feel...well, lonely. I wanted to live in NC because we had both said we liked the state and wanted to end up here someday. Did I pick a day way too soon? Is "someday" not a real thing?
I am just feeling really conflicted. I love the lifestyle here but what's better: nearby family & friends in a congested and annoying area or a slow paced, enjoyable lifestyle with absolutely no one to share it with? I'm so nervous about this Richmond thing. I'm a pretty flexible person and it's not the actual act of moving or the location that I would be opposed to...it's the fact that moving would set me back so far in the progress I am making and literally put me back at step one. Not to mention the wasted finances on both mine and my parents' parts. I know an actual concrete job offer doesn't exist yet, but I it's worth thinking about to me because I want to know what I should do if it does happen. I feel so unprepared and unequipped to deal with this life challenge.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
these boots were made for walking
Yesterday I went shopping for the first time in what seems like forever. I am living on an extremely tight budget and finally managed to save some money so I told myself that I deserved to finally buy something that was for ME and was not edible. So I went to Marshalls (a pretty safe bet when you are broke) and even though it took me three hours, I found three good additions to my wardrobe (all dresses) and only spent $50. I was so happy with how good I did I figured while I was at it I would just drop over by TJ Maxx and check out the shoes.
And I left with cowboy boots.
Is that stupid? Are they stylish? Fashion sense does not come naturally to me, I really have to work hard at trying to put together acceptable outfits. I know I like the boots...I just don't know if I look like a jackass in them. I mean, they aren't like down-home-on-the-range style cowboy boots. They have a low square heel and are suede. They also are not the orangey-clay color leather that I personally associate with generic cowboy boots, and don't have any weird embroidery. So I guess what I am trying to say is that they are more of a hybrid between a cowboy boot and a cute casual, outdoorsy boot.
On the bright side of my "are they cool" dilemma is the fact that this is the South, and cowboy boots are not terribly out of the ordinary.
And I left with cowboy boots.
Is that stupid? Are they stylish? Fashion sense does not come naturally to me, I really have to work hard at trying to put together acceptable outfits. I know I like the boots...I just don't know if I look like a jackass in them. I mean, they aren't like down-home-on-the-range style cowboy boots. They have a low square heel and are suede. They also are not the orangey-clay color leather that I personally associate with generic cowboy boots, and don't have any weird embroidery. So I guess what I am trying to say is that they are more of a hybrid between a cowboy boot and a cute casual, outdoorsy boot.
On the bright side of my "are they cool" dilemma is the fact that this is the South, and cowboy boots are not terribly out of the ordinary.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Preview of My Week
Today at work, for the first time in about two weeks, I had work to do. Real, actual, necessary work and not random powerpoints or excel sheets that I assign to myself to fill time and use as proof to my boss that I am actually needed in the office. It was so nice to not stare at the computer clock wondering why it was only 9:07am and if anyone was going to walk by my cubical and hand me a job. Editing isn't particularly exciting work in the sense the pace is pretty much always the same, but I like it, and I missed doing it. I love X-ing out commas and inserting semicolons. I also love reworking poorly written sentences. The part of editing I do not like at all is checking the stupid figures and charts in all of our spec sheets because they are just endless lists of numbers that don't mean anything to me because I don't understand the technology. So basically when I get to that part I have to compare every single digit on the page to another master page that the figures come from. Aaaand now you're asleep from reading this. The complete boredom anyone reading this is suffering from is the reason why the TSC department had a whopping 12 graduates this year. No one ever accused technical communication of being interesting.
Athan left for Newport News today and I am on my own until I drive up and meet him there on Friday. Soooo of course I have made plans to fill this week doing all the things he probably wouldn't have wanted to be a part of:
1. Cleaning out the refridgerator by not going to the grocery store and subsisting entirely off of leftovers and frozen things
2. Makeup shopping
3. Work clothes shopping
4. Tablecloth shopping (we got a new kitchen table...which is actually just my old kitchen table from college but whatev)
5. Listening to girly music
6. Watching HGTV and A Baby Story and I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant and 16 and Pregnant and any other shows about pregnancy and interior decorating
7. Putting down yet another floor in the hallway closet to put the clothes washer & dryer being delivered tomorrow on
8. Doing laundry in said washer & dryer
9. Giving Lucy a bath
10. Cleaning this entire house because it needs it BADLY
Also tonight is Monday Night Football which means the first Patriots game of the season!! Very excited! The Patriots jersey my mother bought me is a child size XXL and the one she bought my brother is an adult size XL so we can watch the game here in private looking like idiots in our way too big jerseys/dresses. My mom really needs to rethink her sizing choices.
Athan left for Newport News today and I am on my own until I drive up and meet him there on Friday. Soooo of course I have made plans to fill this week doing all the things he probably wouldn't have wanted to be a part of:
1. Cleaning out the refridgerator by not going to the grocery store and subsisting entirely off of leftovers and frozen things
2. Makeup shopping
3. Work clothes shopping
4. Tablecloth shopping (we got a new kitchen table...which is actually just my old kitchen table from college but whatev)
5. Listening to girly music
6. Watching HGTV and A Baby Story and I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant and 16 and Pregnant and any other shows about pregnancy and interior decorating
7. Putting down yet another floor in the hallway closet to put the clothes washer & dryer being delivered tomorrow on
8. Doing laundry in said washer & dryer
9. Giving Lucy a bath
10. Cleaning this entire house because it needs it BADLY
Also tonight is Monday Night Football which means the first Patriots game of the season!! Very excited! The Patriots jersey my mother bought me is a child size XXL and the one she bought my brother is an adult size XL so we can watch the game here in private looking like idiots in our way too big jerseys/dresses. My mom really needs to rethink her sizing choices.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Big Plans
Well, I officially booked a hotel for Homecoming Weekend at JMU! I know most people just stay with their friends at their apartments but I felt uncomfortable asking someone to let me and Athan both stay there. Plus I am now rocking grandma-status and can't stay up as late as back in the day before I had a real job and don't want to be such a loser trying to crash on someone's couch at like 10pm. So anyway I will be staying at one of the creepiest (and, of course, cheapest) hotels in Harrisonburg...the Red Carpet Inn! Classy, classy. Will probably bring my own blankets. It's not close enough to walk anywhere but I don't mind paying for the cab ride at the end of the night if it means I get to do things at my own pace and won't be putting anyone out. Plus its practically next door to Cracker Barrel, where I can roll up for some hungover eats before driving back to NC.
Next weekend I'll be leaving Hickory for the first time since I moved here. Athan's friend just graduated from his master's program and is moving to NYC so we are going up to VA Beach for his going away party and staying at Athan's parent's house. Also it will be the first time everrrr bringing LUCY with us there. Should be interesting. I hope she behaves and stays off the furniture and doesn't try to escape and have to be chased or chew up something of value. Usually she isn't that bad but you never really know with her because she is insane.
Next weekend I'll be leaving Hickory for the first time since I moved here. Athan's friend just graduated from his master's program and is moving to NYC so we are going up to VA Beach for his going away party and staying at Athan's parent's house. Also it will be the first time everrrr bringing LUCY with us there. Should be interesting. I hope she behaves and stays off the furniture and doesn't try to escape and have to be chased or chew up something of value. Usually she isn't that bad but you never really know with her because she is insane.